Guilt and Moving Forward


Lately I’ve been feeling less and less motivated to stick to my routine and wanting to break away from it and throw in something new.  I decided to try out the “couch to 5k” (C25K) program for the summer just to get outside and change things up.

Sunday morning I got up and grabbed my phone which has the C25K app. The app is pretty awesome because it alerts you when to run or walk but also pulls in your music from your iTunes.    The first day was awesome.  The weather was perfect and I felt strong throughout.

I’ve also been getting more into things that will help to push me further.  I’ve been into t-shirts with fun quotes:


and looking into heart rate monitors to monitor my progress.

My eating habits haven’t been the best lately because of invites to go out to eat and celebrate the new job or just catching up with friends.  Last night I ate regular pasta.  I haven’t had that in atleast 2 months.  Now I’m feeling sluggish and craving bad stuff.   I’m realizing more and more that my eating habits affects my mood and motivation to work out.

I’ve been watching Extreme Weight Loss on ABC tonight and I’m getting motivated all over again.  I identify with their weight struggles and mustering up the strength to break through the pain.  These people are complete strangers to me but I feel so proud of them.

My journey thus far has been pretty amazing.  I’ve made some awesome changes for myself and very proud.  I’ve met awesome people through Ultimate Fit Zone too.  Due to my change in job I may need to change gyms to keep it convenient for me to continue towards my goals.  There have been so many changes in the last 3 months that I’m beginning to feel overwhelmed but I’ve come to realize that I need to do the right thing for me.

Keep following for updates, friends!



Lessons Learned From New Beginnings


When I began this blog and my overall journey my intent was to hold myself accountable and have something to look back on to remind me of how far I came.  By sharing my fears, struggles and triumphs it never crossed my mind that this would connect me to people I already know on a different level but I also connected with strangers and even myself.

My biggest accomplishment to date was to take control of my life and not wait for things to change.  For many years I felt sorry for myself because I had been through so much that I thought, “why can’t things just go right for me for a change?”  Don’t get me wrong, I’m very lucky with my career, friends and family but I always wanted something bigger and better for myself.

By taking control I have learned so much about my own strength but was also reminded about some pretty awesome people who are always cheering me on.  (you know who you are 🙂 )

One of the lessons I’ve learned is not to settle.  Always be great.  So, in the next couple weeks I will be changing jobs.  This is one of those top 10 stressers in life but I know I will take it head on because there lies so many opportunities that I don’t want to miss out.  What I will miss are some amazing people I have been working with.  They are smart, passionate and will do great things.  Missing them already and I’m not gone.




One Size Down!!

never give up

Today’s workout was pretty rough but I feel amazing!!  We had a round of movements to do like 10 renegade rows, 15 ball slams, 20 air squats and 10 dumbbell pushes for 3 minutes.  We took 1 minute rest then another round until we did it 6 times.

I was sweating buckets but afterward I felt like I could go again!  I never thought I’d feel that way.  I focused on what I was doing and mentally pushed myself to go at it harder.

I’m also down 1 size which didn’t hurt the motivation either!!

Happy weekend all!

# of workouts this week: 4

Total weight loss: 10 lbs

Mood:  Amazing

My Addiction(s)


Everyone has their own addictions: alcohol, sex, pot, cigarettes, coffee or even The Bachelor.  We have our moments of trying to kick the habit but then going back and having an inner struggling with hating yourself for giving in.

I came across an article on today about “Morning Joe’s” Mika Brzezinski and her obsession with food.  I thought, Wow!  Here is a woman in the public eye who looks healthy but has struggled with her obsession her entire life!  I am not much different.

While I don’t have addictions to any of the listed above, I think I do have an unhealthy relationship with food.  I have snuck food before without people seeing, I have been through every drive-thru in the tri-state area and I crave every waft of fresh baked bread or cake in Wegmans.  Late at night when I’m watching TV a commercial for Burger King comes on and even though I was not hungry two seconds ago, suddenly I want a Whopper with fries.  Damn you advertising!

Part of my re-commitment this week was 2-fold; I need to stay focused on getting in the work outs and I need to promise myself to recognize bad habits and make better choices.

hot dog

I am an emotional eater.  I eat when I’m happy, sad or just bored.  Family celebrations were always about food.  As a kid I would have dance recitals and afterward we would go to Schneiders in Avon for ice cream.  Someone should have handed me a chicken breast.

As hard as it is to avoid these cravings I now think about how I’m going to feel afterward: I am probably going be disappointed in myself, feel tired and sluggish.  Why do that to myself when I know healthy foods have more benefits to outweigh the bad stuff.

Staying focused on the work outs, eating healthy and steering clear of pitfalls is my #1 priority.

Workouts: 3 so far this week

Weight: still down 10 lbs.

*the photo above was years ago.



Yesterday at the end of my Zone 360 class I was approached by one of my coaches to talk about my progress and see if I needed any help.  I’m still down only 10 pounds and should be more around 16 after 2 months.  I said that I’ve had recent food temptations with family dinners and parties and did cheat more than I should and I also admitted that I should be taking more classes.

My coach suggested that I take some time to think about it and decide if I’m really committed or not.

After thinking about it I was really upset to where I wanted to cry.  I had just completed a class that was really tough but got through it, I have changed many things in my diet and I’ve come so far from where I was.  How could I possibly do even more than I already am?

Then I got angry.

How can anyone put a pound on how much I should be at?  This has been a big life change for me and I’m not doing enough?  I’ve struggled so much with pain, planning and monitoring my food, and getting myself to the gym.  I’ve had 34 years of bad habits and you expect me be perfect?

At that point I came to my senses and realized that I’m not doing this for anyone but me.  If I am dedicated to getting healthy through fitness and diet then I need to re-commit myself to what I wanted when this began.

“Commit: to pledge (oneself) to a position on an issue or question;express (one’s intention, feeling, etc.)”  It’s time for me to fully commit myself to reach my goals and I hope you’re all still with me…

So here is my plan to hold myself accountable:

Week 8

Total weight loss: 10 lbs

# of days to commit to working out: 4

Incorporating more fruits and veggies into my diet.  Eating less carbohydrates and more proteins.


Here we go….