Being The Peacemaker Is No Fun

simpsons

For as long as I can remember I’ve wanted to please people, especially my family.  I wanted them to be proud by doing what was expected of me and staying under the radar to not cause problems.  You may recall I had mentioned this in an earlier post (https://changingliz.com/2013/03/24/do-i-have-the-strength-to-go-on/)

Even though this is something I wanted to change through my journey I can’t help but continue to act this way.  I’m not sure if it is good or bad for me but it is who I am.  Wanting the people around me to be happy is part of my character and I am not sorry for that.

I watch every episode of the Real Housewives series from Orange County to New Jersey.  Every week there is a fight between friends or between family and I’ve started to identify with the NJ family fights.  Not because it’s geographically close to home but all families go through their ups and downs; including mine.  Caroline Manzo once said that her family is as “thick as thieves” but is it always that way and does this make my family f*&ked up? (http://www.eonline.com/news/123124/n-j-housewives-caroline-we-are-not-the-sopranos)

My friend has been going through a difficult time with her family who isn’t speaking to each other.  It has expanded to affect everyone in the family at this point when it started out between two people.  She is somewhat neutral to the situation and has attempted to extend the olive branch two times to reconcile the family.  So far, nothing has changed but only seems to get worse.  I’m afraid this is stressing her out which is not healthy.

I’m unsure of the best advice here but, like me, it’s important for her to focus on her own wellbeing and stop trying to be the peacemaker.  Unfortunately we can’t control people’s actions and reactions but we can control ourselves.

Have you ever wanted to fix something but were afraid to interfere?  How did you handle it and what was the outcome?

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