How I Got Here: Part IX

Finding my name on the Oceanside Pier was not the only sign I had during my short visit to Cali.  As I was driving around I saw a vanity plate that said, “Go Liz” and also another plate frame said, “Moore” which is my Grandmother’s last name.  It just felt right.

Brian stayed in CA to work while I went home to pack my apartment I had lived in for nine years.  I had met with a couple of moving companies to get quotes for my personal stuff and to ship my car.  Things were really lining up pretty easily.  I enjoy organizing and packing so packing up my place was fun for me.

The only worry I had was my dog and how he would be during our flight.  He’s very well mannered but he’s a momma’s boy and requires to be on my lap!  Per airline guidelines, they requires a health certificate showing the dog is healthy enough to fly so I took him to the vet and they also gave me a prescription for anxiety meds – for HIM not me.  😉

After my belongings and car were picked up and on their way to CA, I stayed with my parents for two nights.  It’s really strange staying in your childhood home before you’re off to another coast far away from what you’re familiar with.  But, I was feeling good and excited.  No worries at all.

The morning of my flight, I woke up and walked right into a wall.  I didn’t know what was going on but I just didn’t feel well and felt very dizzy.  I went downstairs to take the dog out and get the day started and I walked into another wall.

I was suddenly out of control dizzy and felt extremely nauseous.  I got down on the floor and grabbed onto the carpet as if the entire world was spinning.  I was in tears because any move I made and I thought I would be sick.  And for the first time in my life, I asked my parents to get me an ambulance.

After about 20 minutes of staying on the floor and trying to focus, I was able to get up.  Still in my PJ’s and glasses, I was walked out to the car and taken to urgent care.  Imagine this: a 39 year old woman getting walked into an urgent care by her parents in the K-Mart Shopping Center in her PJ’s, sans bra, messy hair and glasses.  Honestly, I was so sick I didn’t care one second.

I got in pretty quickly and I explained to him what was going on while he put the table down so I would lie flat.  If laying on the floor of my parents house crying my eyes out wasn’t bad enough, being laid out like that was pure torture.  Everything was spinning and I felt like I was just going to slide off the back head first.

Despite all my excitement and confidence that this move was going to be amazing, the stress that I never noticed caught up with me and triggered my vertigo.  The worst case of vertigo I have ever had.  The doctor wrote me a note for the airlines not allowing me to fly and prescribed some pain killer.  I went home, took the meds and passed out.

A few hours later I woke up and felt like nothing had happened.  I no longer felt dizzy or nauseous.  Kind of a miracle!  I tried to convince my parents I was ok and could fly and they were dead set against me flying and I don’t blame them.  What if I got dizzy again on the airplane?  But after begging them to let me go, they caved. I know I know, I’m a grown woman but they were my ride to the airport!

I’ve always been very stubborn.  And maybe I needed my parents to take care of me one last time before I left the nest for my 2,000 mile journey to a new chapter.

Reilly and I made it with plenty of time at the airport.  We were escorted through security because he was with me and they couldn’t have been nicer or more accommodating.  Reilly and I slipped into our first class seats and off we were to the West Coast.  Reilly was an angel the whole way.  He just slept in his carrier under the seat in front of me and luckily the man next to me was a dog lover and took pics of Reilly to show his wife.

We landed a bit early and I ran through the airport to meet Brian.  I was so relieved to have finally arrived after that stressful day.  In fact, this pic of us at the airport shows how pale I was.

SAN Airport June 2018

I write this on the eve of what would have been my Grandma Anne’s 98th birthday.  It’s always been a special day because it was hers.  So, I end this story of my re-birth of new adventures and a new chapter.  I am sure there will more to come as I share our adventures with you.

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How I Got Here: Part I

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It has been a looooong time since I have written because I’ve been saving some things for when the time was right.  If you’re reading this you are likely a friend on Facebook and know I moved to Cali.  But how did I get here and why?

Back in January 2017, I vowed to put myself out there more (See Blog Here) and share my experiences with you and if I didn’t share anything, it meant I met someone.  Well, I did go out with someone extra special almost one year ago and we are happily still together.

Last summer I gave up on love.  I was settling for being alone because I hadn’t met the right guy who gets me and balances me.  One day I got a message from an old friend who I was back in Jersey and wanted to catch up.

This just wasn’t any old friend.  I had a crush on him in high school, he was my older brother’s best friend and grew up down the street!  He was also the one who held me back from punching my brother’s ex gf in the face the night of his funeral; but I digress…

We caught up and talked a lot about my brother.  Tears were shed (mine of course) because he shared things with me that I never knew.  And to talk to someone who understands is very powerful.  We continued to hang out often and one day I realized he liked me more than friends and vice versa.

To be continued….

 

Adjusting My Sails

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This past September I was nearly laid off again.  This was five months into a new job after being laid off for 18 months!  I was in a state of panic and disappointment.  I just wanted a job that I enjoy doing with people I like and decent pay.  My company was going through a reorganization and my position was no longer necessary because they were moving into a more automated process. Luckily for me, they saw my good work ethic and I was well liked so I talked myself into another position to keep working.  Unfortunately, I talked myself into an IT help desk role.

I say unfortunately because I did not have a strong IT background or even answered phones as my job! How can I solve user’s problems if I don’t even know what to do!?  A few weeks into this new role I had major anxiety every morning and even walked out of the office one day to cry in my car.  Crying = literally blubbering on the phone with my friend Stacey.  I wanted out of this job immediately.

Quitting without backup wasn’t an option and I really do like who I work with so I kept with it.  I started giving myself pep talks in the morning, learned how to curb my anxiety and embrace the qualities I do have to offer instead of focusing on what I don’t have.  I have made every effort to treat every frustrated user with patience and kindness while attempting to be confident in what I was doing.

I am four months in and I feel really good with how far I have come.  I still love who I work with and have built a rapport with many of the user that call in.  I feel confident in my ability to do my job which is a 180 from where I started.

I share these details because I want people to know that even though change sucks and times do get difficult; to push through because coming out the other side and learning things about yourself is priceless. Happy Friday xo

2017: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

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Ciao 2016!  You were great but 2017 is going to be even better!  I have to admit that 2016 wasn’t so bad for me: I learned a lot about myself, even more about others and getting closer to what I want.  What else could a girl need?!

If you’re a regular reader (and by regular reader I mean the 2 posts every 6 months haha) you know I’ve shared some low points, some great moments and just some funny stuff.  In talking to my readers I have learned that the funny stuff is what sticks!

In 2017 I vow to you, my loyal readers, more dating stories!  In 2015, my resolution was saying yes and this year I’m taking that to another level! I’m going to say yes to more dates; even those I would normally scoff at. This will all be within reason, like no dates with possible murderers, drug addicts, dead beat dads, etc etc etc.

I hope you’ll follow along on my dating adventures.  I will be honest, I will change names, and if I’ve gone quiet it could mean one of two things: 1) I haven’t been on a date or 2) I’ve met someone worthwhile to keep to myself.  Here’s to hoping for the latter…. 🙂

 

Don’t Lose Faith

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I was secretly on a mission for the last 11 months and I am sad to report that I have failed.  My goal was to meet a hot and super rich guy to marry and travel with and never work again.

I have put my goal aside (for now 😉 ) and found a new job!  I’m pretty excited because it’s something new but nervous AF hoping I do a good job.  I do feel good about it because they have already set up a Welcome Liz Lunch (I love lunching!) whereas my last employer threw me in a cube and my boss didn’t talk to me for six months.

With that said, I came across a blog I never posted when I was down in the dumps.  I had made a list of goals that I have mostly accomplished:

  1. Stop the negativity – work in progress
  2. Do what makes me happy – my favorite one!
  3. Walk everyday – eh, working on that
  4. Love myself – work in progress

I have made a lot of changes since I made this list and feel really good. I probably haven’t felt this good for an extended period of time in years.  I am not perfect and I will stumble but I am conscious of what I need to do to stay on track.

My time “off” has been time well spent.  I have helped others which fills my heart and others have helped me.  In down times we learn who our friends our and I certainly did.  My friends have really stuck by me and when I was a raging bitch or in a dark place; they certainly made it known and balanced me.  THANK YOU!

My parents have been my safety net and I am incredibly lucky to have them.  Despite disagreements I know they have my best interest at heart.  ❤

Lastly, like the quote about says, “Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick.  Don’t lose faith.”  It’s easy to be positive when things are going right for me at the moment, but I learned how to have faith in myself.  No one can ever bring you down unless you let them.  This was a hard lesson for me because it meant I had to be mentally strong and block out the bullshit.  I built that faith in myself by knowing I was better than what anyone says or thinks.  I had faith that I am a hard worker and would figure out a way if I didn’t find a job.  There is always a way…

An Ode to The Feehery’s

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When I was about two, my mother met a wonderful man from a large Irish Catholic family.  They married shortly thereafter and I suddenly had about 20 new cousins and 12 aunts and uncles.

Not being blood related is not a factor in this family.  They welcomed my brother and I from the beginning.  I can vividly remember Christmas parties at Aunt Joanne and Uncle Pat’s house with all the cousins, I was in my Aunt Jane’s wedding, summers in Stone Harbor with Uncle Jef and Aunt Kathy, playing at Aunt Marie and Uncle Mike’s house, Aunt Eileen holding my family together when my brother died and New Year’s parties at Aunt Chris and Uncle Joe’s house.  And then there’s the countless weddings…

Last night I attended a wedding for my cousin Alicia.  It was a beautiful day and the family gathered to celebrate the special event. My cousins are mostly in Pennsylvania but some are now in other places like Virginia, California, Colorado and Minnesota so it’s not easy to see them often but they were there (some in spirit).  Seeing my cousins is like that friend you’ve known for years and even though you don’t see each other that often, you pick up right where you left off.

Looking back on the conversations I had last night with many of my cousins, aunts and uncles, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed with love and gratitude.  Each of them are such special and loving people who want the best for me and each other.

Over the years this family has seen a lot of tragedies and lately, thank God, a lot of triumphs.  I just wanted to give a special message to the Feehery family and let them all know how much they mean to me.  It’s not very often you have special relationships with family who truly come together in good times and in bad.  Mom Mom and Pop Pop would be proud.

What Are You Waiting For?

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The other day I was sitting on the beach with my friend explaining how hard the dating scene is.  I had been on a couple dates and had a couple coming up.  Unfortunately, the one had cancelled our 2nd date the day before due to work schedule which is totally understandable.

Since I’m an open book I have to admit I took a blow to the ego.  Did he not want to see me again and this was an excuse or maybe he really was just busy with work?!  This is how my brain functions: I question things and think things to death until I exhaust myself and build anxiety that’s unnecessary.  A lot of people think I’m calm and collected, which I generally am, but I’m a basket case on the inside.

Going back to the relaxing beach scene….my friend gave me really good advice:  Stop over thinking and do something for yourself.  That can mean different things to different people but to me it means focus on me being happy and healthy.

The gears start churning in my head trying to think of what I can do to change things for me and I asked myself, what have I done in the past that makes me feel good, not only mentally but physically?

If you haven’t been following my blog, roughly two years ago I started at Ultimate Fit Zone by joining their boot camp classes.  I did it for about three months and then went into running. (I quit way too early!) It was the only workout that worked for me.  Encouraging trainers and peers and I did things I never imaged I could do with my body.  So, the bitch is back…

I figure we only live one life so live it happy!  In closing, I ask you…what are you waiting for to do what makes YOU happy?