It has been a looooong time since I have written because I’ve been saving some things for when the time was right. If you’re reading this you are likely a friend on Facebook and know I moved to Cali. But how did I get here and why?
Back in January 2017, I vowed to put myself out there more (See Blog Here) and share my experiences with you and if I didn’t share anything, it meant I met someone. Well, I did go out with someone extra special almost one year ago and we are happily still together.
Last summer I gave up on love. I was settling for being alone because I hadn’t met the right guy who gets me and balances me. One day I got a message from an old friend who I was back in Jersey and wanted to catch up.
This just wasn’t any old friend. I had a crush on him in high school, he was my older brother’s best friend and grew up down the street! He was also the one who held me back from punching my brother’s ex gf in the face the night of his funeral; but I digress…
We caught up and talked a lot about my brother. Tears were shed (mine of course) because he shared things with me that I never knew. And to talk to someone who understands is very powerful. We continued to hang out often and one day I realized he liked me more than friends and vice versa.
To be continued….
This past September I was nearly laid off again. This was five months into a new job after being laid off for 18 months! I was in a state of panic and disappointment. I just wanted a job that I enjoy doing with people I like and decent pay. My company was going through a reorganization and my position was no longer necessary because they were moving into a more automated process. Luckily for me, they saw my good work ethic and I was well liked so I talked myself into another position to keep working. Unfortunately, I talked myself into an IT help desk role.
I say unfortunately because I did not have a strong IT background or even answered phones as my job! How can I solve user’s problems if I don’t even know what to do!? A few weeks into this new role I had major anxiety every morning and even walked out of the office one day to cry in my car. Crying = literally blubbering on the phone with my friend Stacey. I wanted out of this job immediately.
Quitting without backup wasn’t an option and I really do like who I work with so I kept with it. I started giving myself pep talks in the morning, learned how to curb my anxiety and embrace the qualities I do have to offer instead of focusing on what I don’t have. I have made every effort to treat every frustrated user with patience and kindness while attempting to be confident in what I was doing.
I am four months in and I feel really good with how far I have come. I still love who I work with and have built a rapport with many of the user that call in. I feel confident in my ability to do my job which is a 180 from where I started.
I share these details because I want people to know that even though change sucks and times do get difficult; to push through because coming out the other side and learning things about yourself is priceless. Happy Friday xo
Ciao 2016! You were great but 2017 is going to be even better! I have to admit that 2016 wasn’t so bad for me: I learned a lot about myself, even more about others and getting closer to what I want. What else could a girl need?!
If you’re a regular reader (and by regular reader I mean the 2 posts every 6 months haha) you know I’ve shared some low points, some great moments and just some funny stuff. In talking to my readers I have learned that the funny stuff is what sticks!
In 2017 I vow to you, my loyal readers, more dating stories! In 2015, my resolution was saying yes and this year I’m taking that to another level! I’m going to say yes to more dates; even those I would normally scoff at. This will all be within reason, like no dates with possible murderers, drug addicts, dead beat dads, etc etc etc.
I hope you’ll follow along on my dating adventures. I will be honest, I will change names, and if I’ve gone quiet it could mean one of two things: 1) I haven’t been on a date or 2) I’ve met someone worthwhile to keep to myself. Here’s to hoping for the latter…. 🙂
I was secretly on a mission for the last 11 months and I am sad to report that I have failed. My goal was to meet a hot and super rich guy to marry and travel with and never work again.
I have put my goal aside (for now 😉 ) and found a new job! I’m pretty excited because it’s something new but nervous AF hoping I do a good job. I do feel good about it because they have already set up a Welcome Liz Lunch (I love lunching!) whereas my last employer threw me in a cube and my boss didn’t talk to me for six months.
With that said, I came across a blog I never posted when I was down in the dumps. I had made a list of goals that I have mostly accomplished:
- Stop the negativity – work in progress
- Do what makes me happy – my favorite one!
- Walk everyday – eh, working on that
- Love myself – work in progress
I have made a lot of changes since I made this list and feel really good. I probably haven’t felt this good for an extended period of time in years. I am not perfect and I will stumble but I am conscious of what I need to do to stay on track.
My time “off” has been time well spent. I have helped others which fills my heart and others have helped me. In down times we learn who our friends our and I certainly did. My friends have really stuck by me and when I was a raging bitch or in a dark place; they certainly made it known and balanced me. THANK YOU!
My parents have been my safety net and I am incredibly lucky to have them. Despite disagreements I know they have my best interest at heart. ❤
Lastly, like the quote about says, “Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith.” It’s easy to be positive when things are going right for me at the moment, but I learned how to have faith in myself. No one can ever bring you down unless you let them. This was a hard lesson for me because it meant I had to be mentally strong and block out the bullshit. I built that faith in myself by knowing I was better than what anyone says or thinks. I had faith that I am a hard worker and would figure out a way if I didn’t find a job. There is always a way…
When I was about two, my mother met a wonderful man from a large Irish Catholic family. They married shortly thereafter and I suddenly had about 20 new cousins and 12 aunts and uncles.
Not being blood related is not a factor in this family. They welcomed my brother and I from the beginning. I can vividly remember Christmas parties at Aunt Joanne and Uncle Pat’s house with all the cousins, I was in my Aunt Jane’s wedding, summers in Stone Harbor with Uncle Jef and Aunt Kathy, playing at Aunt Marie and Uncle Mike’s house, Aunt Eileen holding my family together when my brother died and New Year’s parties at Aunt Chris and Uncle Joe’s house. And then there’s the countless weddings…
Last night I attended a wedding for my cousin Alicia. It was a beautiful day and the family gathered to celebrate the special event. My cousins are mostly in Pennsylvania but some are now in other places like Virginia, California, Colorado and Minnesota so it’s not easy to see them often but they were there (some in spirit). Seeing my cousins is like that friend you’ve known for years and even though you don’t see each other that often, you pick up right where you left off.
Looking back on the conversations I had last night with many of my cousins, aunts and uncles, I can’t help but feel overwhelmed with love and gratitude. Each of them are such special and loving people who want the best for me and each other.
Over the years this family has seen a lot of tragedies and lately, thank God, a lot of triumphs. I just wanted to give a special message to the Feehery family and let them all know how much they mean to me. It’s not very often you have special relationships with family who truly come together in good times and in bad. Mom Mom and Pop Pop would be proud.
The other day I was sitting on the beach with my friend explaining how hard the dating scene is. I had been on a couple dates and had a couple coming up. Unfortunately, the one had cancelled our 2nd date the day before due to work schedule which is totally understandable.
Since I’m an open book I have to admit I took a blow to the ego. Did he not want to see me again and this was an excuse or maybe he really was just busy with work?! This is how my brain functions: I question things and think things to death until I exhaust myself and build anxiety that’s unnecessary. A lot of people think I’m calm and collected, which I generally am, but I’m a basket case on the inside.
Going back to the relaxing beach scene….my friend gave me really good advice: Stop over thinking and do something for yourself. That can mean different things to different people but to me it means focus on me being happy and healthy.
The gears start churning in my head trying to think of what I can do to change things for me and I asked myself, what have I done in the past that makes me feel good, not only mentally but physically?
If you haven’t been following my blog, roughly two years ago I started at Ultimate Fit Zone by joining their boot camp classes. I did it for about three months and then went into running. (I quit way too early!) It was the only workout that worked for me. Encouraging trainers and peers and I did things I never imaged I could do with my body. So, the bitch is back…
I figure we only live one life so live it happy! In closing, I ask you…what are you waiting for to do what makes YOU happy?
In the last few weeks I have come across some misfortune. Initially I was only sharing this information with close friends and family however I have learned so much in the last few weeks that I couldn’t help but share what I have learned.
In May, I lost my job and the grieving process started pretty quickly. The sadness and questions of why came first and then some anger started to creep in. Admittedly, I cried everyday for a week because I felt like a failure. I had always been a hard worker and have been working since I’m 14. I felt like I had lost my identity and I was incredibly embarrassed.
Eventually the sadness wore off and I realized one day that I was given an opportunity. I have more time to find something I really love or something that allows me to work to live and not live to work.
When life throws a curveball what is the best way to react? At first it may be sadness and anger but I’ve learned from many moments in life like this your actions truly show your character. The timing of my misfortune allowed me an opportunity to help others. By helping someone else, it has made me feel better about myself than I have in a long time.
It’s so important to help others in life and not expect anything in return. If you have that expectation you really aren’t helping anyone. Having that “if I scratch your back if you scratch mine” mentality is helping yourself, not others.
Sometimes blessings and opportunities don’t show themselves until time passes and like all things timing is everything.
Recognizing lessons in my journey helps me understand it all and if I can give others advice or help people feel less alone during these times then that makes me happy.
I’ll keep you posted as best I can with updates so stay tuned!