Adjusting My Sails

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This past September I was nearly laid off again.  This was five months into a new job after being laid off for 18 months!  I was in a state of panic and disappointment.  I just wanted a job that I enjoy doing with people I like and decent pay.  My company was going through a reorganization and my position was no longer necessary because they were moving into a more automated process. Luckily for me, they saw my good work ethic and I was well liked so I talked myself into another position to keep working.  Unfortunately, I talked myself into an IT help desk role.

I say unfortunately because I did not have a strong IT background or even answered phones as my job! How can I solve user’s problems if I don’t even know what to do!?  A few weeks into this new role I had major anxiety every morning and even walked out of the office one day to cry in my car.  Crying = literally blubbering on the phone with my friend Stacey.  I wanted out of this job immediately.

Quitting without backup wasn’t an option and I really do like who I work with so I kept with it.  I started giving myself pep talks in the morning, learned how to curb my anxiety and embrace the qualities I do have to offer instead of focusing on what I don’t have.  I have made every effort to treat every frustrated user with patience and kindness while attempting to be confident in what I was doing.

I am four months in and I feel really good with how far I have come.  I still love who I work with and have built a rapport with many of the user that call in.  I feel confident in my ability to do my job which is a 180 from where I started.

I share these details because I want people to know that even though change sucks and times do get difficult; to push through because coming out the other side and learning things about yourself is priceless. Happy Friday xo

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2017: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

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Ciao 2016!  You were great but 2017 is going to be even better!  I have to admit that 2016 wasn’t so bad for me: I learned a lot about myself, even more about others and getting closer to what I want.  What else could a girl need?!

If you’re a regular reader (and by regular reader I mean the 2 posts every 6 months haha) you know I’ve shared some low points, some great moments and just some funny stuff.  In talking to my readers I have learned that the funny stuff is what sticks!

In 2017 I vow to you, my loyal readers, more dating stories!  In 2015, my resolution was saying yes and this year I’m taking that to another level! I’m going to say yes to more dates; even those I would normally scoff at. This will all be within reason, like no dates with possible murderers, drug addicts, dead beat dads, etc etc etc.

I hope you’ll follow along on my dating adventures.  I will be honest, I will change names, and if I’ve gone quiet it could mean one of two things: 1) I haven’t been on a date or 2) I’ve met someone worthwhile to keep to myself.  Here’s to hoping for the latter…. 🙂

 

Don’t Lose Faith

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I was secretly on a mission for the last 11 months and I am sad to report that I have failed.  My goal was to meet a hot and super rich guy to marry and travel with and never work again.

I have put my goal aside (for now 😉 ) and found a new job!  I’m pretty excited because it’s something new but nervous AF hoping I do a good job.  I do feel good about it because they have already set up a Welcome Liz Lunch (I love lunching!) whereas my last employer threw me in a cube and my boss didn’t talk to me for six months.

With that said, I came across a blog I never posted when I was down in the dumps.  I had made a list of goals that I have mostly accomplished:

  1. Stop the negativity – work in progress
  2. Do what makes me happy – my favorite one!
  3. Walk everyday – eh, working on that
  4. Love myself – work in progress

I have made a lot of changes since I made this list and feel really good. I probably haven’t felt this good for an extended period of time in years.  I am not perfect and I will stumble but I am conscious of what I need to do to stay on track.

My time “off” has been time well spent.  I have helped others which fills my heart and others have helped me.  In down times we learn who our friends our and I certainly did.  My friends have really stuck by me and when I was a raging bitch or in a dark place; they certainly made it known and balanced me.  THANK YOU!

My parents have been my safety net and I am incredibly lucky to have them.  Despite disagreements I know they have my best interest at heart.  ❤

Lastly, like the quote about says, “Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick.  Don’t lose faith.”  It’s easy to be positive when things are going right for me at the moment, but I learned how to have faith in myself.  No one can ever bring you down unless you let them.  This was a hard lesson for me because it meant I had to be mentally strong and block out the bullshit.  I built that faith in myself by knowing I was better than what anyone says or thinks.  I had faith that I am a hard worker and would figure out a way if I didn’t find a job.  There is always a way…

Be A Diamond

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Last summer I was let go from my job.  I was devastated but also in need of a time out.  I was put through the ringer and probably on the verge of a breakdown.  A negative environment to say the least.

For a while I told people it was a blessing in disguise but on the inside I felt like a failure. I thought maybe I wasn’t good at my job and maybe I should change careers or step down from the role I was used to.  I have been terrified to re-join the workforce because I didn’t want to be in that situation ever again.

Yesterday I got a phone call that I didn’t ever think I needed but may have saved me; my supervisor who was let go the same day.  We commiserated for a minute about our experience but then she reminded me how great I was at my job and she would do anything she could to help me.

With that said, why don’t women come together and support each other 100% of the time?  So often women put each other down in a man’s world.  Perhaps it’s to get ahead or make ourselves feel better about flaws we think we have but we need to stop.

I have learned more recently that there are so many ways in which women are discriminated in society.  Breastfeeding is seen as repulsive (which boggles my mind since we were ALL babies at one time), woman make less money than men in the same position, women are judged on their looks everyday especially in business and overall, seen as less than men.  And this is just in the United States.

In many other countries, women are treated like slaves.  They cannot show their face or their hair.  They do not have voting rights and quite possibly the worst is female circumcision.

While I slowly step off my soap box, I implore you to be kind to each other.  To my ladies, please support each other.  We are the only ones who truly understand what our gender struggles with every day.  To the men, never forget that a woman birthed you and although we are behind you, we should stand next to you.

 

2015 Improvements

New Year 2015

I don’t know about you but I hate setting a New Year’s Resolution!  I have always felt that we don’t need the end of the year to reflect on the past and make changes in the future because it can be done everyday.  However, I will indulge you with my thoughts on how I want to improve in 2015….

Saying Yes

Saying yes to things outside of your comfort zone can be scary and rewarding.  I’m going to take more chances in hopes for larger rewards.

Saying No

Saying no to things you don’t want to do just makes you unhappy.  Don’t get me wrong, there are obligations we don’t want to do but they are the right thing.  I’m going to say no to things and be ok with my decision.

Taking Care of my Body

Being a healthier person is important for our overall happiness.  I’m not perfect and put on a couple of pounds this Holiday Season but as long I am conscious of what I need to feel good that is ok for me.

Slowing Down and Being More Thoughtful

A few times this year I have been faced with many work challenges and changes.  In an effort to prove that I can handle it all, I had compromised my responsiblity to be strategic.  This year I will be slowing down, thinking clearly about the down stream effects and best solutions.

Cooking More

I am a good cook and rarely do it because it’s easier to just pick up food for one!  I am going to make a bigger effort to cook new things at a reasonable price and in a healthy way.

So, in my last post of the year, I encourage you to look back on the last year.  Applaud yourself fo your accomplishments, recognize your failures, pick yourself up and move into the new year in a positive way.  Who knows, changing ourselves could yield bigger changes around us.

Happy New Year to you!

Spasiba 2014!

In honor of #tbt I took a look back on 2014 and laughed and smiled at all the things I have done.  I have met new friends, strengthened others and completed some goals!  Here are just some of my main squeezes…

friends

2014 started out pretty amazing as I celebrated my 35th birthday with important friends and family.  For those of you who closed down the bar with us, the party didn’t stop there (Neptune ballet)…  Who knew I would meet a new friend there and would have many memories throughout the year (ahem, Bar A in AC, Irish car bombs, etc etc)

liz knipper friends

The Spring brought on awesome outings with new said friends as well as a great trips with my Mom.  The first was up to the city to visit my bro on St. Patrick’s Day.  My first time at the parade and at The Tonight Show.  If you have an opportunity to do these things – do it!  You won’t regret it!

st patricks day

We also traveled to Miami to visit my family.  I had an awesome visit with my cousin who gave me a tour of the upper Keys via boat bar hopping – the best method!

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Memorial Day Weekend was also a start to a big goal of mine; to complete the Jersey Shore Golden Grand Prix (running five specific races over the summer).  During this time I completed two 5-milers and three 5Ks.  My favorite was the Spring Lake 5.  The crowd was awesome and the weather was perfect.

spring lake 5 finish line

As the summer came to a close my family and I were off to the beautiful state of Colorado to celebrate my cousin’s wedding at 11k+ feet on Keystone Mountain.  It was one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen and to celebrate two people who make each other very happy was the icing on the cake.  The Rocky Mountains were crazy cool – GO!

pat staceyrocky mountains 2014
The cold weather started to close in which meant it was time to get out of Jersey.  My travel buddy and I took an amazing trip to Punta Cana where we had the time of our lives.  We met great new friends from Latvia, Newark and Pittsburgh!  I wonder what we’ll do next year!

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Lastly, and most importantly, we celebrated my Grandmother’s 94th birthday.  How lucky are we that my Grandmother is not only still with us to celebrate the holidays but she’s sharp, funny and is still able to live on her own.  We had a great day with all the grandkids to celebrate how much we love her!  Nine grandkids and four greats – amazing!

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Looking back on all of these amazing memories makes me wonder if 2015 will top it.  Who knows what goals I will create but as long as I have these good people around me I say YES!  Wishing you all the best in 2015 – hope to see you out there! Nostrovia!

Another Year Without You Here

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Another year has passed without Sean.  19 years ago today, the age he was when he passed.  It seems like a long time ago but time has passed too quickly.  Some days I think of him a lot and others I feel guilt for not thinking of him more.  Wishing he were here to celebrate the good times, the holidays and to help me get through those tough moments.  In the last year he has missed birthdays, getting to meet my brother’s girlfriend, an amazing family trip to our cousin’s wedding in Colorado, Connor’s first birthday, grandma’s 94th surprise brunch and countless other family events.

To be honest, this is the most difficult blog of the year.  Usually it takes me maybe 30 minutes to write a blog but with this I started it last Thursday, revisited it Sunday and finally finished today.  In the last few years I have found great comfort and a sense of purpose by working with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.  Participating in their local walks to raise awareness and support has proven to me that I’m not alone.

Keeping in touch with Sean’s friends is also cathartic.  The messages I receive with their memories of him make me laugh because he was funny and make me cry because I miss him.  If I can help raise money to bring awareness and support so no one else has to experience this makes me happy.  Please consider donating to this great organization by clicking here.

beach kevin

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christmas gma mary