Guilt and Moving Forward


Lately I’ve been feeling less and less motivated to stick to my routine and wanting to break away from it and throw in something new.  I decided to try out the “couch to 5k” (C25K) program for the summer just to get outside and change things up.

Sunday morning I got up and grabbed my phone which has the C25K app. The app is pretty awesome because it alerts you when to run or walk but also pulls in your music from your iTunes.    The first day was awesome.  The weather was perfect and I felt strong throughout.

I’ve also been getting more into things that will help to push me further.  I’ve been into t-shirts with fun quotes:


and looking into heart rate monitors to monitor my progress.

My eating habits haven’t been the best lately because of invites to go out to eat and celebrate the new job or just catching up with friends.  Last night I ate regular pasta.  I haven’t had that in atleast 2 months.  Now I’m feeling sluggish and craving bad stuff.   I’m realizing more and more that my eating habits affects my mood and motivation to work out.

I’ve been watching Extreme Weight Loss on ABC tonight and I’m getting motivated all over again.  I identify with their weight struggles and mustering up the strength to break through the pain.  These people are complete strangers to me but I feel so proud of them.

My journey thus far has been pretty amazing.  I’ve made some awesome changes for myself and very proud.  I’ve met awesome people through Ultimate Fit Zone too.  Due to my change in job I may need to change gyms to keep it convenient for me to continue towards my goals.  There have been so many changes in the last 3 months that I’m beginning to feel overwhelmed but I’ve come to realize that I need to do the right thing for me.

Keep following for updates, friends!



Lessons Learned From New Beginnings


When I began this blog and my overall journey my intent was to hold myself accountable and have something to look back on to remind me of how far I came.  By sharing my fears, struggles and triumphs it never crossed my mind that this would connect me to people I already know on a different level but I also connected with strangers and even myself.

My biggest accomplishment to date was to take control of my life and not wait for things to change.  For many years I felt sorry for myself because I had been through so much that I thought, “why can’t things just go right for me for a change?”  Don’t get me wrong, I’m very lucky with my career, friends and family but I always wanted something bigger and better for myself.

By taking control I have learned so much about my own strength but was also reminded about some pretty awesome people who are always cheering me on.  (you know who you are 🙂 )

One of the lessons I’ve learned is not to settle.  Always be great.  So, in the next couple weeks I will be changing jobs.  This is one of those top 10 stressers in life but I know I will take it head on because there lies so many opportunities that I don’t want to miss out.  What I will miss are some amazing people I have been working with.  They are smart, passionate and will do great things.  Missing them already and I’m not gone.




One Size Down!!

never give up

Today’s workout was pretty rough but I feel amazing!!  We had a round of movements to do like 10 renegade rows, 15 ball slams, 20 air squats and 10 dumbbell pushes for 3 minutes.  We took 1 minute rest then another round until we did it 6 times.

I was sweating buckets but afterward I felt like I could go again!  I never thought I’d feel that way.  I focused on what I was doing and mentally pushed myself to go at it harder.

I’m also down 1 size which didn’t hurt the motivation either!!

Happy weekend all!

# of workouts this week: 4

Total weight loss: 10 lbs

Mood:  Amazing



Yesterday at the end of my Zone 360 class I was approached by one of my coaches to talk about my progress and see if I needed any help.  I’m still down only 10 pounds and should be more around 16 after 2 months.  I said that I’ve had recent food temptations with family dinners and parties and did cheat more than I should and I also admitted that I should be taking more classes.

My coach suggested that I take some time to think about it and decide if I’m really committed or not.

After thinking about it I was really upset to where I wanted to cry.  I had just completed a class that was really tough but got through it, I have changed many things in my diet and I’ve come so far from where I was.  How could I possibly do even more than I already am?

Then I got angry.

How can anyone put a pound on how much I should be at?  This has been a big life change for me and I’m not doing enough?  I’ve struggled so much with pain, planning and monitoring my food, and getting myself to the gym.  I’ve had 34 years of bad habits and you expect me be perfect?

At that point I came to my senses and realized that I’m not doing this for anyone but me.  If I am dedicated to getting healthy through fitness and diet then I need to re-commit myself to what I wanted when this began.

“Commit: to pledge (oneself) to a position on an issue or question;express (one’s intention, feeling, etc.)”  It’s time for me to fully commit myself to reach my goals and I hope you’re all still with me…

So here is my plan to hold myself accountable:

Week 8

Total weight loss: 10 lbs

# of days to commit to working out: 4

Incorporating more fruits and veggies into my diet.  Eating less carbohydrates and more proteins.


Here we go….




Throughout this process I’ve tried to connect with something or someone who inspires me to push myself.  Most of the time those people have reached out to me to send me words of encouragement.  I carry each one of you to my classes and to the kitchen trying to make good decisions.

Saturday night I was driving home from Lawrenceville, NJ visiting a friend from high school.  I had my iPod plugged in, set on shuffle and  Home by Phillip Phillips came on.  I listened to every single word that played through my speakers and quickly felt incredibly inspired.  It was as if someone knew I needed those words of encouragement at that moment because I was beginning to doubt myself and my progress.

The song reassured me that there are people cheering me on even though they may have forgotten I’m still on this journey.  It reminded me that I am not alone and that the doubt that I have are those “demons that fill me with fear”.  Even though I may mess up one day or one week I know “If I get lost, you can always be found”.  So, I say THANK YOU to Steve Jobs for creating the iPod, to Phillip Phillips and those of you who continue to be my cheerleaders.  You rock!

Home by Phillip Phillips

Hold on, to me as we go

As we roll down this unfamiliar road

And although this wave is stringing us along

Just know you’re not alone

‘Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Settle down, it’ll all be clear

Don’t pay no mind to the demons they fill you with fear

The trouble it might drag you down

If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone

‘Cause I’m going to make this place your home

Settle down, it’ll all be clear

Don’t pay no mind to the demons they fill you with fear

The trouble it might drag you down

If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you’re not alone

‘Cause I’m going to make this place your home


Anchorman and Pain?

Stay Classy

I have been sore for a few days after Monday’s workout.  My abs (yes, I have abs under that flab) kill when I laugh which I do often.  Yesterday at work my friend Mel was reciting lines from Anchorman, “I love lamp”.

This of course cracked me up which didn’t help….at all.  But that means I worked a part of my body that doesn’t get much attention.  Same with my arms.   Monday’s killer work out left my arms sore but it is a good pain.

Last night was a tough workout but I did get through it.  First we started our warm up by running around the shopping center…I was last one back.  SHOCKER!  Then we moved into our circuit using my favorite toy….balls!  We did 20 mountain climbers, ran 20 yards, 20 jack press with the ball, run 20 yards, 20 ball slams, run 20 yards, 20 hammer extensions with the ball, run 20 yards, 20 other things and then run 20 yards again and REPEAT!  I was the last to finish…SHOCKER again!

Something really amazing happened though.  My coach, Nikki, and my classmate, Kelli, joined me on the last round.  I love these girls!  I hope to one day return the favor.

After I finished I laid on the floor hoping no one would notice.  Haha.  I couldn’t be more wrong because our cool down was running around the shopping center again.  My version of running was more walking but I did it.  Whatever, I try my best.  When I got back everyone was clapping for me and I felt like a total dork but also so proud to be working out next to these awesome people that cheer me on.

I did stop at 7-11 prior to working out and guzzled the 5 Hour Energy pink lemonade.  About 3 hours later I was curled up in a ball on my couch fast asleep.  My whole body ached and I needed the rest.

But, in honor of Thirsty Thursday, this is my favorite quote from Anchorman:


Stay class San Diego!

Rock Out


A big part of my life has been about music.  I could hangout and just listen to music all day and have spent many hours at concerts just soaking it all in.  My earliest memory of music I have is driving around with my stepdad listening to 101.5 in New Jersey and he would tell me the year that song came out and where he was.  Usually it was somewhere in Vietnam or the Azores while he was in the Air Force.

I remember in the early 90’s grunge was big and I couldn’t understand a word they were saying.  I used to tell my stepdad that I liked his oldies better because I could understand the lyrics.  When I was in college I interned and then became employed at WRAT in Belmar.  This was an amazing opportunity for me because at the heart of it was music.

Music also keeps me going while I’m working out.  Melissa at Ultimate Fit Zone usually likes to play popular music and Eddie will put on hard rock.  While I do like both, I prefer the hard rock because it makes me push harder.  Here are some tunes for a good mix:


  • Crank It Up – David Guetta
  • Die Young – Kesha
  • Memories – David Guetta
  • Without You – David Guetta & Usher
  • More – Usher
  • Strong – Kanye West

Hard Rock

  • Down with the Sickness – Disturbed
  • I Hate Everything About You – Three Days Grace
  • Stupify – Disturbed
  • Remedy – Seether
  • Lit Up – Buckcherry
  • Inside the Fire – Disturbed

If this doesn’t get you moving, I don’t know what will….