2017: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

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Ciao 2016!  You were great but 2017 is going to be even better!  I have to admit that 2016 wasn’t so bad for me: I learned a lot about myself, even more about others and getting closer to what I want.  What else could a girl need?!

If you’re a regular reader (and by regular reader I mean the 2 posts every 6 months haha) you know I’ve shared some low points, some great moments and just some funny stuff.  In talking to my readers I have learned that the funny stuff is what sticks!

In 2017 I vow to you, my loyal readers, more dating stories!  In 2015, my resolution was saying yes and this year I’m taking that to another level! I’m going to say yes to more dates; even those I would normally scoff at. This will all be within reason, like no dates with possible murderers, drug addicts, dead beat dads, etc etc etc.

I hope you’ll follow along on my dating adventures.  I will be honest, I will change names, and if I’ve gone quiet it could mean one of two things: 1) I haven’t been on a date or 2) I’ve met someone worthwhile to keep to myself.  Here’s to hoping for the latter…. 🙂

 

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Online Dating: Oh Brother!

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Back in October I went on a date with this guy I met via Match.com.  He was nice enough to go on a second, third and fourth date but he didn’t thrill me.  To be honest, his personality was kinda blah but I could tell he was a good guy so why not?

A few weeks had gone by and he went quiet.  I didn’t really think anything of it because he was kinda boring and I found myself doing a lot of the talking.  Out of the blue last week he texted me saying he didn’t forget about me but he was going through some things and would like to sit down and talk when he was free.  Ok, no big deal.

This past Sunday we met up and he started to tell me about some personal issues he was having and then said he thinks we want different things.  We never had “the talk” about what we want because we were just DATING but, ok.  Again, no loss for me.

But then he proceeds to tell me he felt I was more like his little sister.  WHAAATTTT!?!?!  Keep in mind we went out like four or five times and we kissed each time.  Really?  Your sister?  You just lost me “bro”.  On top of that he started giving me a pep talk that went something like this: Don’t worry you’ll meet someone when you stop looking.  You’re smart, you’re pretty, you’re easy to talk to…

While I give him a lot of credit for taking the time to meet with me and tell me what’s up (because most guys have just gone cold) sometimes the truth is just weird.  Thanks for letting me down easy but I’m not attached to you or upset in the least.  Sheesh!

You have read my ups and downs of online dating.  I talk to my friends about my experiences and laugh but seriously, online dating sucks.  I email and do the stupid wink and I get nothing in return.  Match.com even has the Stir events for people to meet in person instead of wasting time online.  I love this idea but the closest events are in NYC or Hoboken.  I’d like to meet a handsome fella in my backyard!

With that said, my friend and I have started a new dating venture called The Dating Lounge.  We are putting together events in the Monmouth and Ocean Counties in NJ for singles in their 30s and 40s.  We want a pressure free environment for our singles to have fun, meet great people and hopefully find their match.

For updates you can join the group on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/groups/thedatingloungenj/) and follow us on Twitter @DatingLoungeNJ.

 

 

Dating Anonymous

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Hi.  I’m Liz. I’m 34 and have never been in a serious relationship. 

Sounds like my introduction to an AA meeting, right?  Unfortunately the above statement is true and I call it my own Dating Anonymous.

I have dated a few men but never had the urge to “settle down” and get married until recently because let’s face it, my eggs are near death at this point.  Back in July I really started the great search via online dating.  I had gone on some dates with the very quiet guy, the shut up you’re saying too much guy, and I thought you were the one but you turned out to be a dud guy.

I honestly have no idea what I’m doing!

Luckily, I came across this article today (http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/jennie-garth-on-dating-after-peter-facinelli-divorce-its-a-weird-type-of-torture-20132110) that reminded me that I’m not the only one who is having a hard time dating.  It is definitely a learn as you go type of deal!  For example, don’t give out the URL to your blog because then you can’t really say what you want without hurting someone’s feelings,  don’t jump to conclusions on a first date thinking you’ll marry this guy and definitely don’t read into everything.

As you’re dating make sure to stop the smell the roses!

Dating can be a real wake up call.  You realize things you may not like about yourself and a lot of things you don’t like in others.  Be sure to enjoy yourself without wanting to know what’s next like me because I over analyze.  These moments are learning experience and you discover what you like and don’t like in a partner.  And then one beautiful sunny day Prince Charming will sweep you off your feet and you’ll live happily ever after.  Right?  Right!?

Some day….but until then, it’s important to continue your own life.  Don’t get down on yourself and start eating Ben and Jerry’s (ok, I’m guilty of both).  Continue to better yourself so that when Mr. Right comes along you are ready to share all the awesomeness that is YOU!

Dating Sucks: Take 2

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I feel like a kid learning to swim by taking a chance and giving up when it doesn’t work out.  Recently, I took a dip in the dating pool again.

I met this super nice and cute guy via Tinder.  Tinder is an app that syncs with your Facebook profile and per recent reports it’s just for hook ups but that’s not what I’m looking for.

At any rate, he was Irish and a chef.  Could it get any more perfect for me?!

We spoke for hours on the phone and I felt I may have had a connection.  We set a date and admittedly this was the first date I was ever really nervous for.  What if there’s no connection after talking?  What if I’m not his type or vice versa?  So many what if’s entered my mind.  Luckily, I felt an instant attraction and the date couldn’t have been any better.

The signs were all there that he was into me as well.   As the days went on the communication was less and less.  I tried to get him to schedule another date but that fell flat.  In the end I wished him well because I assumed we weren’t a match.  It was a bummer for me because I thought he was nicer than many guys I’ve dated but maybe him living an hour away was the deal breaker!?

I’ve come to learn that guys tend to lead women on because they aren’t up front on what they want or don’t want.  Instead of telling me nice things, just tell me you’re not interested.  I’m not a games kinda gal.

Bummed and still single….

Dating Sucks

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Last weekend I had a date that I felt went pretty well.  I’m going to leave the details to myself because turns out I’m friends with his brother (HI JOE!!!) but I will say there weren’t fireworks.  Then I figured you only get so much out of one date and was open to another.

The next morning he texted me saying he had a good time and then we spoke on Tuesday.  I thought the conversation went fine and at the end he asked me to get together again.  I said I was available on Thursday and he would be in touch to confirm details.  Great!  I don’t have to plan anything!

Thursday came and I was in a client meeting all day and didn’t hear anything. Maybe he was waiting until after 5 to follow up!  Then it was 5:30 and then 6….

I then made other plans and went out with friends.  My friend suggested I text him to see what was up.  So I did and just asked if all was ok and if he had a change of heart that it was ok.   He responded shortly after saying that he should have cancelled and he didn’t feel that we had a connection but that I was the most normal girl he’d met online.  SIGH.  On to the next one!

He was very much a gentleman and we had good conversation.  While I’m apprehensive to get into a relationship myself (fearing the unknown) I think we should give people another chance.

How do you know if you have a connection or not after one date?

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

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Since I’ve started my blog about my journey the focus has been on working out, motivation and food.  But what happens when those things start to come together and you open up to new things?  Enter: ONLINE DATING.

In college it was so easy to meet people because you either lived with them, went to class with them or partied with them.  Now, not so much.  In my 20’s I met guys at the bars but that’s not my scene anymore.  Sure I could meet a guy at church but who am I kidding?  I am not religious.  I could also meet them at the supermarket but I’d rather get my list done and get out of there.

At the advice of my mother I checked out online dating.  I have tried Match.com, eHarmony and Plenty of Fish before but I just wasn’t into it.  I didn’t feel confident at the time and didn’t make myself available.  This time around I’m trying OKCupid.

On TV I’ve seen commercials of couples who met online and got married. How awesome!  That could be me!  These are great looking people and boy, are they happy!  Let’s be real, that is NOT what is online.  So far I’ve come across guys who look like they should be in jail, their full-time job is being a waiter, they want to meet right now to hook up or their profile includes pictures in groups so I have no clue which is the guy!  My favorite one may have been today…A guy who posted he was married and wanted to talk to me.  I asked if he was married and he said, “yes, do you still want to talk”?  “No thanks and good luck!”

Why is it so hard for a smart, funny, kinda cute single girl to meet a man who is employed, single, funny and decent looking? Is that so much to ask?

I’ve prayed to baby Jesus in my blog before so it couldn’t hurt to call out to him again, right?

Dear Baby Jesus,

Please send me a nice, smart, funny, family-oriented guy who appreciates me for being a total goofball but also a great cook!

Love,

Single and awesome Liz 🙂