This past Saturday I had a scheduled date with “Botchagaloop” (names have been changed to protect the innocent Italian dude). He lives up north so I assumed we could meet half way in Long Branch at Avenue or McLoone’s. Unfortunately he suggested Parker House or Squan Tavern. Not ideal but he was going for casual drinks. I agreed to Parker House when an image of screaming children eating pizza at Squan Tavern entered my mind.
I had Botchagaloop meet me on the corner outside of the Parker House because I’m not a fan of walking into a bar alone plus this would give me a chance to speed past in case he didn’t look like his pics. Alas, I was there first and waited for him for a couple minutes.
He wasn’t bad looking at all but he was slightly shorter. Not a deal breaker but I do prefer to feel smaller. The Parker House did turn out to be a bad idea because we were herded like cattle into the roped area of the front bar and the noise level didn’t help either. But we stuck it out while laughing at the older couples trying to get their load on at the bar.
Afterward he suggested a walk on the beach which was great because it was a beautiful night. I found out that he likes the Real Housewives of NJ almost as much as I do and he is Team Jacqueline. Phew…glad we got that out of the way!
Overall the date went smoothly but Botchagaloop did say something that I’m not quite sure how to take. He said, “I bet you get hit on by a lot of black guys.” I said, “why?” He replied, “Because you’re curvy.” Hmmmm. In the moment I laughed it off but afterward I got hit by the “what the f@*& truck.”
I’m still not sure how to take it. Help me out here…
Since I am so wordly with online dating (not really) I wanted to give advice on what is a turn-off to men and women on these dreaded sites…
- Don’t post pics of you with other women. Sure, pics of you and your sister are cute but with your arm around someone looking all cozy? Is that a hint of who you want your next girlfriend to look like? I would never contact you because I am not her and will not be her. Call a therapist because I’m pretty sure you’re still stuck on her.
- Don’t post pics of you in groups of other dudes. I have no idea who you are and makes you, or whoever you are, not confident.
- Don’t waste my time. Once a guy is interested (amd I am too!) I like to take it off-line pretty quickly so I can cut to the chase. Either you want to meet or not. Emailing and/or texting for a few days is pointless. I start to question if you’re really single.
- Be honest. This can be hard for men to do (Lord don’t I know it!) but it’s so important. If you have kids, say it. If you hide it, we’ll probably find out!
- Don’t be too desperate. Men like a challenge so don’t be too eager to get back to them or be too available. This sort of contradicts a dating site since you are obviously looking but hopefully you have a life.
- Post up-to-date pics. Maybe you just had a break up, ate too much Ben & Jerry’s and put on some unwanted poundage. Be sure to post flattering and real photos of yourself. Posting photos from 10 years ago isn’t accurate and makes you appear insecure.
- Smile! Guys like to know you’re happy because they don’t want complication in their lives. I’m not perfect, but smiling is contagious!
- Have your guard up. If there is something shady, trust your gut. One thing I’ve learned is that when someone shows you who they are, trust them! Same advice goes to men.
There you have it. My unofficial online dating advice. What is your advice to those searching for love via 4G?